


At Least Out Loud, I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)

by peytra



Category: Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-20 16:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14265279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peytra/pseuds/peytra
Summary: Bruce has some thinking to do during his fight with John.





	At Least Out Loud, I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)

Bruce was having really, really bad day. First, he’d had to go out and hunt down his friend, which was bad enough on its own. But he’d already been hurt, and the Agency wasn’t backing down (and his lawyers were going to be having words, when all of this  was over). They’d sent in Harley, who took no small joy in trying to order Bruce, Tiffany, Gordon, and the officers on scene around. He did feel bad for her, despite everything: she was going to be Waller’s slave for the rest of her life, after all. 

But Harley wasn’t the worst of it; when they’d found John, he was torturing Waller into a confession. He claimed that Bruce had taught him how useful violence can be (and, really, Bruce was going to have a lot of guilt to deal with over making John into this already). He’d just wanted John out from under Harley’s influence. And then Tiffany confessed to Riddler’s murder, and a part of him desperately wanted to believe that it was just a distraction, but then she showed off her toxin and that was just another thing he was going to have to deal with. 

And then John had a breakdown, and if he was being completely honest with himself, that was by far the worst part of the night. Three agents, dead. John, apparently trying to kill him, along with everyone else. He couldn’t see how it could get much worse. And words turned to fists turned to knives, and it broke Bruce’s heart every time he had to hit John. He was still pulling his punches, because he was hoping, praying that John would see reason, that he would drop the knife and admit he was wrong. That they could all laugh this off and pretend it’d never happened. 

But John took the punches like a champ and just kept laughing. They somehow ended up in the control room, and John was looking at a wall of pictures. Bruce had forgotten about the pictures; he hadn’t even had time to wonder if John had recovered any of them before the Agency had destroyed the subway. He stood back and waited; John wasn’t interested in attacking at the moment, and Bruce was too hurt to say no to a break. John didn’t turn around at first. He spoke, as if to the pictures rather than Bruce himself.

“I was such an idiot,” he said, the laughter stalling. “I was so busy looking at you. Admiring you. Wanting to be like you.” He paused and tilted his head, as if considering something. “Be loved by you.” Bruce’s eyes widened. Loved? John kept going, not caring about Bruce’s confusion. “I lost myself,” he said, turning around. He grabbed his knife and continued, “but not anymore!” And attacked.

Bruce struck back with everything he had; something had broken in John. That prowling animal had been let loose, and Bruce had to do everything he could to wrestle it back into its cage. But a part of him was still distracted by John’s words. He’d wanted to be loved by Bruce? In what capacity? Bruce certainly felt love for John, but only platonically. Or, he’d assumed his feelings were platonic; there was no other option. John was a mentally ill man whose feelings had already been manipulated.

Thinking back on everything, he’d never liked Harley. Even from the first moment he saw her, he’d disliked her. He’d made a good show of being polite, but what he’d assumed were his instincts told him she was up to no good. But maybe it had nothing to do with instinct; he hadn’t been entirely genuine when he told John he was happy for him, either. He’d tried to get John into Harley’s good graces, but he hadn’t really tried very hard. And when opportunities came to try and separate the two, he’d been all too willing to embrace them. Perhaps, even subconsciously, he was relying on something more than just instinct.

As John tried to stab him, Bruce considered what this meant. He may just have more than platonic feelings for John. It made sense; he’d gone after the agent pointing a gun at him on the bridge rather than try and stop John from hurting Waller, which was out of character. He continuously supported and protected him, even as that got harder and harder to do. Even now, if John threw away the knives and asked for forgiveness, Bruce would give it. His actions concerning John were simply not reasonable, nor did they fit within the realm of friendship. He was friends with Catwoman, and he hadn’t warned her about the GCPD. 

And, as he stabbed John’s hand with a batarang, attaching it firmly to the control panel behind him, he considered why he’d rebuffed all of Selina’s advances. She was beautiful, she knew who he was, she was dangerous without being deadly; it was practically ideal. But he wasn’t interested in anything beyond platonic. He’d assumed that it was because he was wary of her criminal past, or because he still thought of her as Harvey’s girlfriend, but it could have easily been because he already had feelings for someone. He hated analyzing his own behavior like this, but the pieces were adding up. 

He shocked John, hard. John collapsed to the ground, and Bruce slid down a wall only a second behind. 

“I guess that’s it,” John said. “I really wanted to be a hero, you know.” Bruce nearly agreed, but he had a feeling that John had to get this out, without his interference. “But I… I. Just. Can’t. I know you used me,” he said, “I know I should hate you for that. But I don’t, because… I had such a good time with you, Bruce. Did you ever…?” He paused then, and Bruce wondered if he was going to ask about his feelings. He’d taken a look at his behavior, but Bruce still needed more time before he could be certain. 

But John was full of surprises, and he asked, “Did you ever think of me as your friend?”

Bruce blinked. He’d messed up more than he’d thought, if John could ever believe, even for a second, that Bruce had never cared about him. Bruce knew he couldn’t tell John about his possible romantic feelings; for one, Bruce wasn’t entirely sure of his own feelings, yet, and John deserved better than a maybe. And the very last thing John needed was for Bruce to come on to him. 

“I did, John.” He said, cutting into John’s rambling. 

John laughed. “You are one messed up guy.” 

John had no idea how messed up he really was. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally just me trying to rationalize why you can’t tell John you love him because I do. He’s my BOY and fighting him in ep 5 broke my heart. Seriously how can he think my Bruce doesn’t care about him I was with him until the game literally didn’t let me support him anymore.


End file.
